Stuff happens all the time and for some reason the holiday season brings out more “stuff” than usual. It could be the extra stress, extra family or even just the added benefit of an uncomfortable situation.  Liberty Monthly asked four local experts and an etiquette expert from Ohio to help us navigate the hectic holiday period and guide us towards solutions with our pets, carpet stains, picky eaters, and unexpected gift givers.

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> Due to a printing error Dr. Leah’s question was incorrect & Mary L. Starvaggi’s answer was
not printed/included in the December issue of Liberty Monthly.

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> Question:
My dog gets so excited and often has a hard time when we have people over. What can I do?

> Answer:
You have 2 strategies to use for your dogs and guests/dinner. Management and training. If you have been working on your training the management part will be easier. If you have not been working with your dog previously, management is your only option. Exercise your dog first, then put the dog up in a quite place with something to help occupy them ( stuffed kong, safe toys, food ball ) and water. Remember to take them out side to potty.

REMEMBER dogs are opportunists. If they sense you are not keeping an eye on the situation, they will take advantage even a reliable dog. I put things I do not want the dogs eating (turkey bones) in a tin can with a lid (coffee can works) and take it promptly to the garbage can so the dogs cannot get into it.  Fat, grapes, raisins, and chocolate are all bad for your dog. Put them up and do let soft hearted people feed your dog these items.

As guests come in, have them treat your  dog for a sit (Dog has to stay in seated position for treat). if it looks like they are going to behave, continue to let them be out with everyone.

REMEMBER  dogs are very good judges of character. They can assess whether a person is an easy mark or not in 3-4 seconds. So if Aunt Martha can’t say no, put the dog up because he will be bothering Aunt Martha all day. The other problem with soft-hearted people is they ARE TRAINING your dog to behave badly. If you are like me I don’t need any help messing my dog up. So put the dog up.

Unless you live in a bus station with people coming and going all the time, you dog is not used to so much activity at the house. They need some down time just like you. Let them go into their crate/bed and rest away from KIDS and other activity.

Candy McKing with Sit Can Happen

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> Question:
It seems to happen every year - someone spills their drink or drops a full plate on the carpet. How can I clean up quickly without letting the party bust?

> Answer:
As soon as the spill occurs, flush with water and small amount of baking soda.  Continue flushing with water and soaking up with towels until the spill comes up. At some point as soon as possible have a professional extract the spot and/or clean the carpets.

Gary Smith, P&G Contracting and Floor Care

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> Question:
My friends/family have children that are really picky eaters. Should I cater to their kids or should they bring something for their picky eaters to eat?

> Answer:
Whenever we cater an event, we suggest that sauces be served on the side. For example, a plain turkey breast can be accompanied by gravy, mojito sauce and cranberry relish. This often pleases both picky and adventurous eaters. Also, a host can make side dishes using non-meat ingredients. This way, even vegetarians can be accommodated without any fuss.

Samantha Aulick with Lemleys’ Catering

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> Question:
How can I handle unexpected gifts - even when it was decided gifts won’t be exchanged this year?

> Answer:
1.  You may be frustrated if this happens.  You may think you should have something for the other person also.  If you are frustrated, then stop and take a breath.  Calm yourself down.

2. Presume the best of the other person’s motives.  Operate under the assumption that the other person just wanted to do a small nice thing for you.

3. Smile, and say thank you!

4. Keep a smile on your face and lightly say “I thought we weren’t going to exchange gifts” with a slightly questioning tone in your voice.

5. Let the other person give their excuse which will probably be something like, “When I saw this I just couldn’t pass it up” or “I just really wanted to do something for you.”

6. Then graciously say “Thank you.  You were very kind to do this even though you know you didn’t have to.”

7. Remember that receiving gifts graciously is as important as giving.  You are actually doing something nice for that person by receiving their gift.

Dr. Leah R. Jackman-Wheitner, Career Coach

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> Question:
How can I handle unexpected gifts - even when it was decided gifts won’t be exchanged this year?

> Answer:
Unexpected gifts are just that “unexpected” therefore we should always accept them graciously and with a thank you. Although we might feel uncomfortable because we don’t have a gift to exchange, we should never make the giver feel badly, be appreciative. You may apologize for not having a gift to give as you were under the assumption that gifts were not to be exchanged.

In order to reciprocate the gesture, at some point give a gift to the giver at another time, when they least expect it! Always remember that the essence of etiquette is to put others at ease!

Mary L. Starvaggi, Etiquette Consultant